Fielding


We looked up.
This what we will tell you.
The rest is ours.
You want to know what we saw
but you are already asking
the wrong question,
already assuming
what we did with you
resembles what you do with us —
the naming, the shaming, ,
the long interior monologue
you call understanding.
We do not do that.
We took you in
the way the body takes in air.
Your weight on the ground.
The held quality of your breath.
Something in the way you stood
told us everything
we needed.
We share a field with you
not our world
Our world is made of other things —
the sharp of the fence wire,
the soggy grass,
the particular silence
that means nothing is coming,
the particular silence
that means something is.
You were a something.
We assessed you.
We returned to ourselves.
Nagel asked what it is like
to be another creature
and had the honesty to say
he could not know.
Most humans look at us looking
and decide we are reflecting them,
that our gaze is a kind of gift,
proof that even animals
find them interesting.
We find you legible.
That is not the same thing.
You perform so much
for one another —
the careful arrangement of the face,
the voice adjusted for the room,
the self that shifts
depending on who is watching.
We see none of that.
We see the thing underneath,
the animal that has not yet
composed itself,
the body before it remembered
it was being watched.
That is what we looked at.
Not your name.
Not your story.
Not the version of yourself
you have been quietly constructing
since you were old enough
Just the rhythm of you.
Just the fact of you.
Just the heat
you brought to the field.
We looked up
and meanwhile
the grass
never needed
to be anything
other than grass,
and neither,
for a moment,
did we.
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